Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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whats white jizz

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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