Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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