Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What do you call a bird with wings? A bird

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Probably also quizzical in some sense, but there are several other adjectives that could describe tests as well.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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