How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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kathryn atkins

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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