What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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whats white jizz

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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