What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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