You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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