How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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National security?

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Butt poop.

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops