How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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