A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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