What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation. ~Yashar - pirater un compte facebook Peace out :)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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alert("The Game");

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty jumped off and committed suicide.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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