Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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