My Girlfriend

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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Hello

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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