I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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