Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

thumb_up thumb_down -21

69

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops