Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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