a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A man walks into a bar.

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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