Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp? He didn't he was caught and put in the gas chamber.

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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