Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +344

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

thumb_up thumb_down

What is cold? Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding out you ate half a worm? Getting raped. Whats worse than that? Getting shot in the liver. Whats worse than that? Getting shot in the liver then getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops