Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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