What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

what is white and sticky? glue.

d

what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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