Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That's what she didn't say

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -16

canaan and mallory

thumb_up thumb_down +8

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops