I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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