What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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butt sex

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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