Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How old is victor? Half past dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops