Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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(insert antijoke here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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