Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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A black man has a job.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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42, that is all

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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