Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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