Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pull my finger ouch..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops