What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops