What is the best joke ever? 1D

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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