Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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EGGPLANT

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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