Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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Zach Murfitt has a huge penis! Lol jk he has an inchy stryder

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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