What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

What's worse than World War II? World War III.

Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

69

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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