John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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