a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

AND

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops