Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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69

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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race-car = rac-ecar

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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