How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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