Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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24

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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