- Anti Joke

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

I dislike old people.

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

What's stupid a light bulb.

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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