live babies

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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