Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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Please ignore this statement.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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