What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a cat? You can't. The current state of genetic engineering will not allow avian DNA and mammalian DNA to be combined.

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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A house comes around the corner.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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