I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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