What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

cory

Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

Albino African Americans

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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