Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

everybody loves raymond

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

Jews...

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...