What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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mental kid

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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