A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Myspace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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