Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops