I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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bangers and mash?

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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