Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

So I was walking down the road today

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

It was a beautiful day. Face.

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

MySpace.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...