A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops