Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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