Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is white and long? A New York winter

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, Because they contain antioxidants and help to lower your cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +200

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops