How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Womens rights

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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