Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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A homosexual walks into a church

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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