Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops