What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was sally crying? she was sad

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

66

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +3

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops