What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

You're*

Major League Soccer

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

alex is cool

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

Vagina ass.

What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...