A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Asians...

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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