What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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