how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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noah is a scrub jungle

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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j

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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