Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A blonde girl walks into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

thumb_up thumb_down -29

dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

an emo girl walked into a white room

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops