OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Manchester City

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Please don't rape me.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops