What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

CHEEZECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops