The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -31

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops