How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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