How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Lockerbie bombing

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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Knock Knock.. Who's There? Boo.. Boo Who? Book...

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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