What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Happy Monday!

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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