: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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