A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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