hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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what is 3+3= 8

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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all hail based mark

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Lil Wayne

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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