My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What do a bucket and a women have in common? Before 1928 neither had the right to vote. The bucket still can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Looks through the peephole.

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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