conrad profit

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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What's the difference between a duck

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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