What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

thumb_up thumb_down -13

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +165

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's better than sex? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops