Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Why? Why not?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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