Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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AIDS.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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69

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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