I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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where are you?

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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That's what she didn't say

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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