What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

7

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

two cannables walk in to McDonalds

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...