roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Take part of what?

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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