I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

thumb_up thumb_down -31

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops