Get me a sandwich, bitch

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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poop.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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