How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops