What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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Get on the boat.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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call of duty world at war

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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