A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops