What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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