What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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