Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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I said I hate niiggers

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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what's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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shauns beautiful

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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