How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

Girls Basketball.

James Patrick Campbell

Knock Knock The doors already open

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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