Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing jews dont celebrate christmas.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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