Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A: A lot.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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