What would Michael Jackson do if he were on the Moon? Nothing he's dead.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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What did I do last night?work

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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