A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Yanter, Look it up

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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