How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

thumb_up thumb_down +9

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +2,800

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,927

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops