A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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gay porn...

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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Yee

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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