how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

The truth is he loves her!!

Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

Skinny people fart less.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...