There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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asparagus

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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No. Yes.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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