you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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69

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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