Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops