Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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obama's promises

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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