What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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