What lives underground? Grandpa

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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