What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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Women's rights.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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