Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Betty Whites ALIVE?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dislike this

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hashtag

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops