Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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black people

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops