A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

hi

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

asparagus

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

Dancing Potatoe!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...