What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

Your mother is a man.

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

What did the clock say? The time.

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

Knock knock Come In.......

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

I like to eat people

Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

The penn state football administration

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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