A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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peter charastabopouloulous

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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