why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

25

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

Where's my tractor?

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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