How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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