Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -12

God is real

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops