Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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you will now laugh.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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