What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

How did the girl die? 25.

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

fack me!

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

Two women were sitting together, quietly.

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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