Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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black people

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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Hi my name is Jim

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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