I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

Potato

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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