Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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no

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Dear Board of education, so are we.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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