What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your so stupid, that your stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops