What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

68 :)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did i fall? i got pushed!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops