A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Knock knock. Death.

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

Why? Because!

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

Yo daddy!

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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