what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

Take my wife- to the store.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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