Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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Six million.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops