What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Hashtag

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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womens rights to vote

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops