Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Knock knock What

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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