Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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Thanks

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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Jared Gough is a slut

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops