What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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I like to eat people

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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asian, do math

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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