A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

Civil Rights.

No it isn't.

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

WNBA

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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