What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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25

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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