What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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dislike this...please.

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops