Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops