Q

thumb_up thumb_down +30

7

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops