A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

25

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops