What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock, Knock. I have no door.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Do you know what they say? Words

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops