A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops