This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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