Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

Christopher Walken to a bar.

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

Potato.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Hearpin my durp

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

What's after 9/11? 9/12

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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