What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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What's the difference between anti jokes and Charlie Sheen? Nothing. Their both stupid

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Why did I get raped

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Do you know what they say? Words

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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