A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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