A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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12

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Romney 2012

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Hearpin my durp

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops