D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Time flies like a banana.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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