What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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Why did Jane scared of the video about a clown dancing in the room? Because it was her room.

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Where is my tractor?

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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