why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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Knock Knock Come in

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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No. Yes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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