Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +28

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did th-A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops