Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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The Irish man was sober.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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