omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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Justin Beiber

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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5

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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123 Main street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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