How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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1unno;njfjk

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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