Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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