There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

thumb_up thumb_down -101

A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Obama is a good president.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

thumb_up thumb_down +316

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

thumb_up thumb_down +8

:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops