Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -101

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +73

A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops