Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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Obama is a good president.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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