I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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