What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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The horse's name was Friday

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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