Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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1unno;njfjk

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What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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