why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -175

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

thumb_up thumb_down +63

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

The horse's name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +104

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down -172

When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops