What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Womens rights.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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