Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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Click click ,scroll scroll. Bro you wasted your time. -Troll Lord

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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Womens rights.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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