why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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Womens rights.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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