What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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8============D PEN1S

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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1unno;njfjk

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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