Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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1unno;njfjk

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Junior's love life.

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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dj miky

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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