Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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8============D PEN1S

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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1unno;njfjk

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops