"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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sfdg

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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24

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops