Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Take this and put it- No.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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