Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops