ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HELLO EVERYONE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

guess what what ...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops