A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops