roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...