so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops