My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops