What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Jesus Christ

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops