Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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whats black and strange a paki

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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