Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops