what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Indians

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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