What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

jews

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A women left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops