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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Democracy.

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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