Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops