"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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