How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops