Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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