How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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