Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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womens rights

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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