I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

like most people my age. im 27

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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