What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops