Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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you gay?

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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