VITAMIN C!

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops