If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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