How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops