why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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I agree

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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