Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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