Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Shit.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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