A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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This joke isnt funny.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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gays

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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poop.........

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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