What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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arse

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Hello world

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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