what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

A baby seal walks in to a club

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

josh simpson has cancer

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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