A black succeeds

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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hi my name is? joe

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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potato

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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dildo

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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