Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

Ruller

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

jokes r dumb

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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