Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

the cow goes moo

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

A baby seal walks into a club

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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