A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops