Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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i like potatoes

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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