Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Military intelligence.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What's 9 +10 19

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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No.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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