If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: *Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network* Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: *Gurgle* *spits* ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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