once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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...Jack Vale

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GooglePlus.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Kate

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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