- Anti Joke

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

...Jack Vale

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

A black guy walks in to a bar.

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

come along children

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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