a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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I hate you.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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