Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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A black man killed someone

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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What has human male genitalia? A human male

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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