Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Women's Golf

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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AROUND

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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