What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

So one time this woman was learning...

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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