Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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