When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Roses are red, yup.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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quantum physics?

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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