What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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