How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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