Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Womans baksetball...

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops