What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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