How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops