What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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