If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A young baby died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops