What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

The diamond one below is hilarious.

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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