- Anti Joke

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

NEVER

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE