What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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25

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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