How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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A young baby died.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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