There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Racial Equality

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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