Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Potassium? K.

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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whats black and strange a paki

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops