Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops