This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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a blind man walks into a wall

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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