Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops