Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops