A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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haha

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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a

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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