Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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