I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops