What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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^ That's not even funny ^

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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