Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops