How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Get up Look in the mirror

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Balls

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops