Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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