How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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