why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops