Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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