Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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