What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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