What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

XD Jackass.

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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