Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

^ That's not even funny ^

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops