what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Women's professional sports

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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