What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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good looking women

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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