I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops