What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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