tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops