What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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