If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

alert("Hello");

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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