What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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