Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops