What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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