Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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