i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops