knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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I'm hungry.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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A car walks into a bar.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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