what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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I? Everett

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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