Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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pull my finger (farts)

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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