Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops