My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

A fat guy!

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...