What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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guess what what ...

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops