Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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