Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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A gay man watches football.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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