Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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