Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -10

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

...Jack Vale

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I dislike old people.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The government makes a good decision

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What lives underground? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops