Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops