A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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