How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops