what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops