This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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