Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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