What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...