Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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