what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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Indians

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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My mom

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops