a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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