Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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roses are red poo is poo

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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fridge

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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