haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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