why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF 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THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A 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THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD huh GOT EM

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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