How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Brain fart

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops