What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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