What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

matt is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the power to turn magnetism into light

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops