Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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matt is fat

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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