What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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69.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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