What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops