whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

alert("Hello");

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops