Do you play piano? No

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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