How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Neither did she.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Who wants water? I do.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops