So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What's one plus one? two.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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