- Anti Joke

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

Obama

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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