Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Knock knock knock OCD

A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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