What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

justin beiber sucks

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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