I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops