Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Women's Rights

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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