What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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