There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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