Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Justin Bieber

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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