An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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