What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

joe galasso from plainview ny

Neither have I

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

a. why? b. because I wanted

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...