- Anti Joke

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

Jacob Edwards has friends.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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