Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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