What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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