What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Nathan likes butt games with African American men

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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whats green and lives in the water

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops