it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops