What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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