Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +5

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a joke? This

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops