How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops