Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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