A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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