Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

A dancer walks into a barre

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

roses are black violets are black i am blind

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...