Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops