What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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want more?

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops