Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops