What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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