Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops