A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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A women left the kitchen.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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