a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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