What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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i like it in the mouth

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's blue? The sky.

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Poop

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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