Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Albino African Americans

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops