How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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