A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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A fat guy!

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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men's rights activists

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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