How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops