Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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can you touch your toes? no

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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dat shoe shine tho

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops