A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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A pope meets another one

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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