A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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