A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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RUN

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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