Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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