What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Burp

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops