- Anti Joke

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

Drew Knowles is gay

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.