Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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someone called someone else a frog

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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