A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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ewrg

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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