oh hey.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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