Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

Why Did the throw up He was sick

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

9

What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

white or wheat? wheat please.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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