Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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