Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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No

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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