Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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4 hours later.

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops