What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops