What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops