Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops