A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...