Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=eOr5o3kd5fIcpM:&imgrefurl=http://imgfave.com/search/be%2520stupid&docid=_B1z3__jBeF0wM&imgurl=http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vrh3OhfK1r158a9o1_500.jpg&w=485&h=650&ei=Jo3HT-anK4To9ASrrp2KDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=104&vpy=105&dur=1249&hovh=260&hovw=194&tx=86&ty=138&sig=104463583013410208018&page=3&tbnh=162&tbnw=121&start=23&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:23,i:149

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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