roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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