Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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