Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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A lot eh?

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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