My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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