When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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A fat guy!

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Diarrhea

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Fat? Jesse Z

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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