How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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