Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops