You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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THe Election

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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