Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops