I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Knock Knock.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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