Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops