how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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No

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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