So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops