why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops