How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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my wife out of the kitchen

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops