So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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I'm Polish.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops