I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

Anti - Jokes. com

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

human centipede

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Apple hates Blackberry.

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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