What's the difference between a lamp?

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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the WNBA.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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