Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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i like turtles

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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