What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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