Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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