So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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