How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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what are you mike bibby?

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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