why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops