Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops