What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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