Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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