What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A hill billy went fishing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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