WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Men's rights

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Yanter, Look it up

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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