Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Take wrong turns

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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