how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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bangers and mash?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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