What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Nathan likes butt games with African American men

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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