Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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A lot eh?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Diarrhea

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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