What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Shltskc gw? G

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Dude man, I'm high...

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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