How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops