Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops