Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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* anti-punchline

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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