My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

dead dibbs

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Non-Anti-Joke.com!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops