What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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