What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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