How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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