Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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