Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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hey guys im gay

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops