Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Roses are red.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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