Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops