What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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The government

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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