Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops