What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops