Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops