Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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