despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops