Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Your're racist.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops