What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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