Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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