jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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