What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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