Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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justin beiber sucks

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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