What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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