John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Your Mom

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops