What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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this website is a bad joke

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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#IHateHashtags

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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