Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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