A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

im not black, im Joseph Kony

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

a man makes a bad joke

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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