Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Spotto

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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