A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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hello

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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were you expecting a joke

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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