A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops