Knock Knock. Not home.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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