A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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