Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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