What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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A black person in the NHL

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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noodles

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Women's Rights...

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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mitt romney

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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