What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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who just made fun of katie matt

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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