roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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A black man without problems.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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