I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Penis.

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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